Some Thoughts On Writing About Clowns

Raymond Chandler once gave the following rule for writing: "When in doubt, have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand."

You can certainly see that in Chandlers' work. When the Big Sleep was being adapted for cinema, Chandler was asked whether a certain character had been murder or had killed himself. He confided in a friend, "dammit I didn't know either."

When I am writing at the Not For the Faint-Hearted events, I have a number of tropes that I fall back on if I am stuck. One of these is clowns. They're so easy to write about. They're supposed to be having fun all the time, so if a clown unhappy you have an immediate question to work with. A clown sitting at the side of a street, with a half-empty bottle of whiskey: why?

I've shared my clown theory with my friend Louise Halvardsson. Her first clown story, Clowntown, was recently read at a short story night. I think there should be more stories about clowns. As Louise advises, "add a clown to your writing whenever you get stuck."

Twelve Ways to get into Glastonbury – Tuesday 7th December

I had a strange day yesterday, with a bus crash, snow and wandering through a somewhat diffuse protest on London Road. I also attended a rehearsal for Michael J. Parker's new show, 12 Ways to Get Into Glastonbury:

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I've been helping out a little with the show over the last month or two. In fact, the first run through of the show was in my lounge back in September:

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The show includes poems, songs and stories based around the Glastonbury festival. It's been fascinating to watch the work being honed over last couple of months and I am very excited about the point Mike has reached. The night also features cabaret compered by Paul Stones, including poetry from Chris Parkinson. It's going to be a great night. You must come!

12 Ways to Get Into Glastonbury: Tuesday 7th December, 7:30pm, Komedia Studio Bar, £5/£4

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Rapunzel: story in the Hint Fiction anthology

I'm very excited to have a story published in the recent Hint Fiction anthology. The books contains stories of 25 words or fewer and I am thrilled to be published alongside people like Jonathan Carroll, Joe Lansdale and Peter Straub.

I'm fascinated by how small a story can be. Much very short fiction is disappointing, little more than summaries. But when someone gets it right, the effect is stunning, like the Baby Shoes story that is often attributed to Ernest Hemingway. So simple, yet so surprising. The anthology's editor, Robert Swartwood, says that Hint Fiction "should be complete by standing by itself as its own little world", and the book contains some great examples.

There's an interesting discussion at The Millions here and a New Yorker review here. The latter includes some examples, including Bob Thurber's Shipwrecked and LR Bonehill's Cull, two of my favourites from the book.

People who follow the weblog or twitter will know how much I fret about writing author biographies. Hint fiction has 25 word biographies for each of the writer, and Michael Martone's entry is the best example I have seen yet.

Thanks to Robert Swartwood for organising the anthology.

Article on creative writing workshops in Friction Magazine

I'm a little tardy in posting this, but I have an article in the first issue of Friction magazine, which is published by the Newcastle Center for the Literary Arts:

"If the current growth in creative writing courses continues for another 70 years, more people will be learning to write than taking driving lessons.

This unlikely and invented statistic underlines a genuine problem. I am bombarded with invitations to paid creative writing workshops and courses. While some of these are probably excellent, the barrage of announcements makes me want to weep. (If you’re attending or, please god, holding a course in social media ‘platforms’ for writers, you need to stop and think about your life)." (More here)

There are some fascinating pieces in the first issue. My favourite was Alex Lockwood's article on The Responsibilities of the Novelist, which discusses Nick Royle's novel Quilt and Scarlett Thomas' The End of Mr Y. I enjoyed reading Nick's novel and it's good to see a thoughtful response. There's also a fascinating story by Max Dunbar.

Tarot and Creative Writing

The next Brighton Creative Writing Sessions event is on December 4th. The subject will be Tarot and Creative Writing and it features a guest tutor, Naomi Foyle:

Italo Calvino described the tarot as "a machine for constructing stories". Poet and tarot-reader Naomi Foyle, with short story writer James Burt, will lead a day exploring the ways in which the tarot's archetypal symbols can inspire and influence writing. This course is intended for writers of all levels, whether or not they have previous experience of the tarot, and will focus on practical, engaging exercises.

The event will be held at the Brighton Life-Drawing Sessions studio, near Brighton station. It runs from 10am to 4pm and will cost £25. There are a few tickets left and they can be booked here

I'm very excited about this event. Ellen, Naomi and I have been discussing our plans for the day and this is going to be a workshop like no other. The topic may sound odd, but things won't be getting too esoteric – we will be focussed on writing and having fun.

I am also very excited about having Naomi as a guest tutor. She has published some fantastic work with Waterloo Press, including this years The World Cup. She has also worked as a Tarot reader for a number of years. 

Back at work

I'm back at my desk today after a long weekend in Wales. It was lovely to be out in the middle of the nowhere, no laptop and no mobile signal. The weather was damp and misty, which made the scenery incredibly atmospheric. I went walking, ate good food and read a pile of books. The highlight of the reading was Nicholson Baker's latest novel, The Anthologist. I am becoming convinced that Baker is one of the most important novelists working today.

I've taken a little bit of a break from the weblog over November. That's not because I've not been doing anything – the exact opposite, in fact. I have a pile of exciting announcements, including the next Brighton Creative Writing Sessions course, an article in Friction magazine and an anthology publication. I will write about all of these over the next few days.

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White Night: How to escape from a WW2 POW camp

The coming weekend is going to be one of the largest in Brighton's year. Saturday afternoon sees Beach of the Dead IV, Brighton's zombie parade, which starts 3pm at the station. Then, that evening, from 6pm to 7am the next day is White Night.

I will be appearing at The Marwood Cafe at 9pm, giving an extended version of my talk, How to Escape from a WW2 POW Camp. This is as part of the 13 Steps event, curated by David Bramwell. More details here. I'm currently working on my talk and adding various anecdotes that had to be cut from the version of the talk I gave at the Catalyst Club in January.

White Night will also feature a workshop from Ellen de Vries as part of the What is Enlightenment event at the Brighton Bhuddist Center from 10pm-Midnight, with a workshop on making 'little books of enlightenment'. 

A likely highlight of the night will be Jake Spicer and the Brighton Life Drawing Sessions with their Enlightenment Project. Three carts will travel around the town carrying life models and drawing materials. The dry-run for the project, at London's Big Draw, appears to have gone superbly, and there are photos on Kate Kamikaze's blog.

Saturday is going to be a long, exciting day. I will be spending Sunday, Halloween, slumbering and watching horror movies.

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Why I love Brighton: Laura the Lamppost’s birthday

Walking through the North Laine on Friday night, I found this decorated lamppost on Kensington Gardens. The sign read: IT IS LAURA THE LAMPPOSTS BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! PLEASE SIGN THE CARD 

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The attached card had been filled with messages (along with several pictures of cartoon cocks). It is magical, weird things like this that keep me in Brighton.

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New story at Are You Sitting Comfortably Brighton, Wednesday 13th October

A new short story of mine, Lockcharmer, is being read at Are You Sitting Comfortably, a Brighton short fiction night where the stories are read by actors. I went to their previous Brighton event in June and had a great time so I'm really looking forward to this. The night is held at the Basement in Brighton with doors at 7:30pm. Tickets are £6, or £4 for concessions. 

I'm very excited about hearing this story read out. It is one of two stories that I wrote during my holiday to India. The initial idea is one I had a long time ago, about a girl who has a strange relationship with locks:

I'd been having a bad time of it when I locked myself out of the flat. I couldn't afford a locksmith, and the friend who had my spare key was away. All I could do was phone my friend Rory and ask if I could stay a few nights.

-Actually, I've got a friend who can help, he said.

-What, he's a locksmith?

-She's a she. And sort of. I'll give her a call and see if she can come round.