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Last night I read at the opening night of Short Fuse Hastings, which was held at the Rooms. It was my first trip to St. Leonards in a long time but I didn’t get much chance to explore. I was reminded, however, exactly how dull the road from Brighton to Hastings is.

The Rooms was quite a small space, which the audience easily filled. The night featured a mix of Brighton and Hastings writers – Short Fuse is good at picking an interesting mix of writers, and all the stories were interesting and engaging. My favourite performances were AK Benedict‘s fairy tale Zoetrope and an excellent story by a recent Sussex Graduate about unemployed slackers watching TV.

I read a story called ‘Puddlejumping’. I’d rehearsed it quite a few times so, once the first few paragraphs were done, I felt fairy relaxed. When I’m reading and it seems to be going well I sometimes feel weirdly disassociated. I’m reading the words, but at the same time part of me is looking at the audience and wondering what they’re thinking of the story. Which is fine, except I sometimes panic because I won’t remember actually reading the previous paragraph aloud: what if I’ve been standing onstage, reading it in my head? But I’m sure somebody would have told me if I had a habit of doing that.

Thanks to Tara for inviting me to read. I’m looking forward to watching the next Short Fuse, on June 7th at the Komedia, which features Ros Barber and David Bramwell reading true stories about Brighton.  I’m also hoping to visit Hastings for the next event there, and will maybe explore some old haunts beforehand.

Today has been tiring, so I’m off to bed to read comic books. Hopefully tomorrow will be less trying.

I don't know how many readers this weblog has in the Hastings area, but just in case: I'm reading at the opening night of Short Fuse Hastings on Sunday May 31st.  The night starts at 8pm in The Rooms Cafe Bar in St. Leonards and costs £5. 

I like St. Leonards.  Back in 1998 I lived in the Grand Hotel ("as seen on Channel 5's The Hotel Inspector").  St Leonards was a strange place, dominated by the impressive Marine Court; under the building nestled a Dr. Who shop, keeping the faith in the programme's wilderness years.  I believe Iain Sinclair lived in Marine Court around the time I was in St Leonards – certainly I recognised some of the background characters in his novel 'Dining on Stones'.  You can get a good idea of the town from the Lost Promenade's recent visit (see here and here).

Anyway, if you're at the night, come and say hello.  I've not decided what to read yet.  I do have one story about St. Leonard's ('The Final Performance of the Puppy Dog Ballet') but I might ignore that in favour of something more substantial.

I'm putting on a one-off night of spoken word on June 16th at Brighton's Marlborough Theatre.  The best thing about organising an event is choosing who you want to see perform.  I've selected some performers I'm very excited about seeing:

• Rosy Carrick is compere at Hammer&Tongue Brighton and Trailer Trash.  I probably couldn't get away with putting on a spoken word night and not asking Rosy to perform, so it's fortunate she's as good as she is. 
• Bill Jones is one of my favourite local writers.  He's read at Sparks, Short Fuse Brighton and a previous incarnation of Telling Lies.  His stories are funny and whimsical, and I'm looking forward to watching him again.
• We also have Chris Parkinson of the Young Hanoverians.  Chris helps compere the incredible monthly Glue Gun '91 night at the Victory and recently won the monthly Hammer and Tongue Slam.  His poems are funny and intelligent, yet slightly deranged.  
• There will also be a musical interlude from the fantastic Madame's Butterflies.  Featuring two uplifting arial singers, Madame's butterflies are "dazzling operatic cabaret".
• I'm also going to perform a couple of stories including one I've not written yet, but I'll talk about it nearer the time.

Tickets for the night will be £4 on the door (details of how to book in advance will follow).  We're starting at 8 with the main performances finishing around 9:30 – so if you've got work the next day you can make it home in good time.  I'm currently planning a few things for those don't have a curfew and want to linger.  This will be the first spoken word night with a director's cut.

I also want to have a stall on the evening with books and pamphlets from local writers.  Leave a comment below if you're interested and I'll get in touch.

It’s been an exciting couple of weeks but I’ve not been blogging as much as I should have done.  The next few days are likely to see a succession of announcements as I catch up.  Some exciting things are in the works.

One thing I should have announced is my second EMLN blog post: Is Creative Writing a Pyramid Scheme?

“Creative Writing is a big business. A few years ago the BBC claimed there were more than 600 full time creative writing degree courses at British universities. These included options such as Accountancy with Creative Writing (currently available at the University of Derby).  Hundreds of less-formal courses are available, as well as shorter seminars and residential breaks. Requiring little more than desk space and a tutor, such courses are easy to put on and profitable.” [continues here]

This post is something I’ve been thinking about for a while (I almost gave a brief presentation on it in the 10-minute zone at last year’s Litcamp).  In between my article being submitted on May 1st and published on the 8th, an excellent article appeared on the Guardian website covering similar ground.  Ian Jack’s post, The Age of the Gifted Amateur has returned, argues that the profession of author is a  recent, and likely short-lived, occupation.  It includes the staggering figure that “Britain is probably turning out about 1,300 “creative writers” every year.”  What are they all doing with their qualifications?  Jack concludes:

“We need to weigh the smashed hopes of creative writers against the financial needs of their tutors, who are themselves writers, and earning the kind of money that writing would never supply. A closed little dance: tutors teach students who in turn teach other students, like silversmiths in a medieval guild where a bangle is rarely bought though many are crafted, and everyone lives in a previous world.” [continues here]

Some interesting follow-ups to Ian Jack’s article can be found here, here, here and here.  There are also some thoughtful responses in the comments of my blog post which I hope to respond to later this week.

• A lovely article on the Choose What You Read campaign which asks people if they'd prefer to be reading books instead of free newspapers.  They've also taken to handing out novels at stations.  Great quote: "I remember when the novel White Teeth by Zadie Smith came out –
  everyone was reading that. You could pretty much read the whole book
  over a few weeks just by looking over somebody’s shoulder."
• A lovely story by Derby's Nathan Good: Invisible Girls with Green Eyes.  It's only 1200 words.  Go read it now!
• Bands as portals (via Simon Reynolds)
• Profile of Vincent Connare who invented Comic Sans: "[a woman] broke up with her boyfriend in a letter written in Comic Sans to soften the blow"
• Video footage of Sara Crowley reading Porn Mallow at Sparks. Sara has had some great short stories up lately and also recently wrote a great post about her sons.

Last night I went to the Low Carbon Cabaret, an event held in aid of Brighton’s Naked Bike Ride.  I’d been asked along by my friend Naomi Foyle, one of the performers.  I’d no idea who else was playing but the line-up was great.  Count Adriano Fettucine was compere, the Young Hannoverians performed an excerpt from their ‘poetic rock opera’ Owl Man and there were some very odd burlesque acts including Size Zero Albino doing a ‘Birdy Song’ fan-dance.   Songs about candiru, musical saws and striptease are evidently perfect ingredients for a night out.

Which leads on to the announcement that I’ve been invited to read at Glue Gun ’91 at the Victory.  I’ll be doing a ten minute slot, reading a couple of new clown stories.  Glue Gun ’91 is pretty much unique: the last night started with a birdcage filling with easter chicks  to the sound of the Carpenter’s ‘Close to You’, featured the live cooking of a Mystery cake and squeezed in the complete history of the world.   You don’t want to miss  this.  You know what else: it’s free to get in!

I've been very busy with creative work over the last few weeks.  I've mentioned some of the things I've been working on (such as Trailer Trash, the Literature Network blog and Short Fuse Leicester) and missed others (like Pictour, clown stories for Glue Gun '91 and a night of readings in June).

One of the things I should have announced is that I've got a story in the current issue (number four) of Notes From the Underground.  It's a small story about Scrabble, 55 words tucked away on page 4, but it's a piece I'm fond of and I'm glad it's found a home.  Notes From The Underground is FREE from various locations.  You should definitely pick up a copy, and not just to sell on ebay when Zack Snyder one day films my clown novel; there are some lovely stories, each perfectly timed at just a few minutes of reading, and an article from Kathy Lethe about visiting a strip club with John Mortimer.

Thanks to Sunita for posting me a copy of the new issue.