After a lovely June, July felt like pissing into the wind and I’m glad it’s done. The wheels fell off at the start of the month from a combination of stress, bad food and sickness – and never really got running again. Work commitments also meant cancelling some plans made back in September. There were some lovely high points, but overall it was a drag.
The month started with a trip to the Lytham Festival to see Skunk Anansie and Alanis Morisette. I’ve not been to a lot of gigs since the pandemic, and I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. There was also a fun zine session at In a Land with Caitlin, a hike with some work friends, the office summer gathering, Gina and Lou’s wedding, an engineering summit, and Cleria and Mark’s visit.
Work has, however, squatted toad-like over everything, with a delayed release causing a lot of stress. I’d also failed to book the holiday to EMF Camp that I’d planned since September. This was a stupid mistake, one I’d not expect from a junior, and it cost me the holiday. Our team have been doing a fantastic job with a complicated release process, but it’s been a slog. I do have a rotation date now – I am going to dearly miss working with our team, but I am excited about a change.
The big problem at the moment is that I’m not having enough fun. I’m not very good at type-1 fun (enjoyable in the moment), and end up aiming for type-2 fun (preparation or stress that’s fun to look back on). All my hobbies have deadlines, and I often commit myself to projects I later regret. While I wasn’t very good at drinking, I miss the silliness and spontaneity of those nights out. While fixing this feels a little harder than just ‘have some fun’, I definitely know some things I should stop doing.
One of the things that needs to be more fun is the writing. I have started a larger project that I’m enjoying. I’m not sure what anyone else might make of it, but that’s part of why it’s fun. I’ve also been thinking a lot about a John Higgs essay I read about being a writer and, you know, maybe I should lean into that a little more.
The month included a lot of cinema trips. The Odyssey was an interesting take on the myth, although I regretted seeing it in an Everyman Cinema. I found the last ten minutes of Undertone so terrifying that for a few minutes I regretted watching it. Evil Dead Burn was unrepentantly nihilistic, and made me question why I was watching something so unpleasant. Rosy and I tried watching Election, but it was so vile that we gave up after 30 minutes. War Dogs was geopolitics as teen comedy, and it left me shocked. I’ve also started a new letterboxd list for Films I’ve Given Up Watching. Entry one: The Amateur.
I read some good books this month. John Higgs’ The Bees are our Friends was a lovely miscellany, which has set me off thinking about a few things. The dystopian book group selected 1956’s savage The Death of Grass. While it displayed some dated attitudes, these were mostly used to attack British post-imperial exceptionalism. Babylon, South Dakota was a recommendation from Talking Scared podcast and very different to what I’d normally read. John Langan’s The Fisherman was a great piece of cosmic horror, despite a nested structure that I didn’t love. Having abandoned Mick Herron’s Clown Town on a first read back in January, I gave it a second try after Warren Ellis described it as having a more interesting resolution. I also finished a couple of dull books from June that I should have abandoned – see what I mean about having fun?
Carlo Rovelli’s slim book on nuclear war, 85 Seconds to Midnight was filled with nightmares. I find it incredible that we could kill most of humanity in a matter of hours and our politicians don’t want to face this. I spend a lot of time thinking about nuclear war, and can’t understand how everyone else doesn’t.
I only started following Charli XCX after the remix album Brat and It’s Completely Different but Also Still Brat, and subsequently liked the Wuthering Heights soundtrack. I’ve fallen in love with the new record Music, Fashion Film. The vocals remind me of George Pringle, and final track No-one Lasts Forever, featuring David Cronenburg, is a masterpiece. I wasn’t expecting a record about making art in the face of our mortality.
A positive note to end on – I signed up for a gym this month. It took a while to get the induction session sorted, but it’s a significant move. I’m also going to increase my daily steps total to 6000. I don’t have the heart for a full 10,000 right now, but maybe once I move to my new work client.
- Another downer from July – I have some expensive dental work coming up. I’m questioning whether I can afford to maintain teeth.
- On top of everything else, I had food poisoning from some vegan rice at the Alanis Morisette gig. I drove home before it hit but then I was out of action all that next day. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so ill.
- This month brought another new prime minister. I’m not expecting much from this one – I don’t think he has big enough ideas and the lack of mandate will bring him down.
- Spotify search is terrible – I ended up downloading all my data to find a single earworm.
- We have swifts nesting in the eaves. It’s great to see them flying near the house.
- This blog is currently a wikipedia citation for the release of Buck 65’s album King of Drums.
- We’ve had the chimney fixed, so we’re all set for winter.
