May was challenging. We were supposed to release the work project I’ve worked on since November, but the testing phase won’t end – although the bugs were all false positives from testing issues. The long client-office commute has been wearing, even when it’s only twice a week. My life is good overall, but this has been one of those months with too much to keep track of, and a constant hum of anxiety. The brighter mornings haven’t helped, the early light waking me despite the blackout curtains. As good as everything is, I’ve felt tired and frustrated.
The month started in Stroud, where I visited Mr Spratt and his family. I had a lovely relaxed time, including a decent hike – something I’ve not done enough this year. I always dread making trips involving long drives, but I’m glad I did this. I even enjoyed the three pub visits we made while we were there, which doesn’t often happen since I quit drinking. I should commit to more such expeditions.
Other adventures included a weekend in Blackpool, watching movies with Muffy. I also discovered the excellent Aunty Social shop. I escaped the office in Manchester for an hour to visit the Whitworth’s exhibition of Japanese prints, dragging my new team along with me. In Hebden Bridge, we celebrated Rosy’s birthday with a party (although I didn’t make it to midnight).
This was the month where my weight finally broke containment. I weigh myself daily, tracking it through a moving average, and this average hit the highest number since I started this round of tracking in 2019. It’s finally got me being more careful about my diet, getting a rein on the stress-eating as well as well as upping my daily step target. The spike appears to have been a short-term blip rather than a permanent change, but I’m staying alert.
The writing continues to go well. I’m trying to settle into a regular practise, getting a flow of new work out. I went to both of the month’s writing group sessions, despite them occurring on commute days. I’ve also cleared out the blog post drafts I’ve accumulated. I’m still longing to work on a big project, but my way there is through getting smaller pieces out.
I published seven blog posts in May:
- Evan Dando’s Rumours of My Demise
- Rich Brain
- Mycelium Parish News Update
- New Ways of Story-telling
- Professional Decline
- The South Downs Way: What Next
- A Tale of Two Beds
I finished twelve books in May, although this was mostly finishing several half-completed ones; reading so many things simultaneously is not the best way to enjoy books. David Marx’s Blank Space was a quick read, an interesting cultural history of the 21st century. While I knew much of the material, this had ended with an provocative and useful manifesto. Marcus Kliewer’s The Caretaker was a great follow up to We Used to Live Here. While I don’t like Kliewer’s prose on a sentence level, he’s definitely at the start of an interesting career. Patrick Radden Keefe’s London Falling likely falls into the true crime genre, but he tells the tragic story of Zac Brettler very well.
A big theme for May has been reducing digital clutter – clearing out old blog posts and the hundreds of articles I had on my Kindle. I love using the FiveFilters Push to Kindle service to send article from my browser, but it had got out of hand. It feels like there are several areas of my life that have become cluttered and stagnant. This is something I’m being careful with, particularly when I have so little spare time and energy.
More time was made available when I abandoned playing Death Stranding 2. The game has some moments of incredible beauty, but the plot is dreary, and the gun-play annoying. It felt like there were better things I could do with my time, so I stopped. I wish I could have finished some of the roads but I was sick of the bosses. It feels like Kojima’s innovations were strangled by the form’s cliches.
It saw a lot of films this month, with seven trips to the cinema. Obsession was an excellent horror movie. Mother Mary was too long but worth it for the imagery. The Mandalorian and Grogu was predictably disappointing. I saw The Backrooms on opening night and found myself the only adult in a cinema packed with teenagers. Nomadland was beautifully made but deeply flawed (I thought this review was an excellent response)
I’m exasperated by politics. Kier Starmer might feel a failure as prime minister but he was elected with a massive majority and he shouldn’t be discarded lightly. It seems obvious why Reform are winning – they are the only party promising an improvement to the grimness of the British economy since the 2008 financial crisis. Reform’s use of immigrants as scapegoats is vile – but they are the only party offering something other than managed decline. I don’t see why Labour are so unable to promise any hope.
- I loved Caity Weaver’s essay: I Found It: The Best Free Restaurant Bread in America. Entertaining and informative.
- “When you publish physical editions of your work it graduates from the pejorative classification of ‘content’ to, at worst, an object, if not a product, and hopefully, eventually, a successfully circulating artwork.” – Bobby Campbell
- I gave up on Tom’s Crossing. It’s a great book, but I don’t have the bandwidth for it right now. Maybe in a few month’s time.
- I’ve found a fourth birthday twin in Midge the dog, who has his first birthday next month.
Next month is a big one – and landmark birthday that’s likely to provoke a little soul-searching.
