True Love

Like John Higgs’ return to his KLF book, Michael Azzerad’s new version of 1993’s Come As You Are features a writer responding to his original text.

As a teenager, Nirvana were one of the first bands I became obsessed with. Part of the attraction was the ongoing soap opera. Cobain’s public struggles seemed to reflect my teenaged difficulties. His interviews at the time were defiant and determined – weirdly optimistic – and it was only in retrospect that I thought that the conclusion was inevitable.

With this gap of 30 years, Cobain’s faults seem more obvious. Azzerad was close to the band and, for me, the book suffers from not dealing with the misogynistic abuse Cobain inflicted on Victoria Clarke and Britt Collins, or his appalling treatment of Mary Lou Lord. Cobain was a great spokesman for feminism and the punk ideals of Olympia, but failed to live them. Despite these omissions, the book is still frank and honest about things Azzerad felt unable to say at the time. While Cobain was a great artist, he was deeply flawed and his addiction had taken over his life and his talent.

At the time, through the eyes of tame journalists, the love affair between Kurt and Courtney seemed incredible. As details have emerged, it’s become obvious things were more complicated. For a long time, I wanted to write about Nirvana. As a teenager, the love affair between Cobain and Love seemed quirky and powerful. Over the years, sad details have crept in. I wanted to write about how the story changed with time, yet to also hack away the reality to the romance at the heart of it.

Reading Azzerad’s new book, Cobain was feels like a talented artist. But his petulance and pettiness came through strongly. I will probably still read every major book that emerges about Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, but I can no longer imagine writing about them.

Kurt and Courtney: A love story

When I was a teenager, the love story between Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love seemed beautiful and inspiring. They were portrayed as two messed-up people who were deeply in love, the perfect romantic story. In her 90s interviews, Courtney Love was a force of nature, a defiant feminist, who rose above jealousy and sexism to lead one of the era’s most impressive bands.

Through her management, Courtney Love had a powerful press machine to defend her. A lot of stories were suppressed at the time, and this helped shape the perception of Love. Over the years since, other stories have emerged that cast her in a different light.

Watching the documentary Hit So Hard, about Hole drummer Patty Schemel, it was hard not to see Schemel as being betrayed by Love, sacrificed for her ambition to make Celebrity Skin (still the best Hole album, but not worth the toll it took on her band).

During the pandemic, I found a podcast by Mary Lou Lord. I only knew Lord from the accounts in the 90s music press, where Courtney Love denigrated this woman as a groupie who was chasing her husband. This was all detailed fairly uncritically in the press at the time. Love’s campaign of harassment against Lord involved aggressive calls to her family. Lord has finally told her story, and it is very different to the one Love put out.

Or there was the case of Victoria Clarke, a journalist who was writing an unofficial but supported biography of Nirvana. Love and Cobain carried out a campaign of harassment against Clarke, which included death threats left on her answering machine. On top of that, Nirvana’s management warned people away from being interviewed for the book, saying that Clarke and her collaborator were “groupies who had offered bribes and sexual favours to interviewees in exchange for information”.

Cobain is often celebrated as a feminist icon and his advocacy of feminism, DIY-culture and gay rights in the mainstream was significant. But this sort of intimidation and sexist slander stands very much in opposition to that.

There was an incredible love story between Kurt and Courtney, and I still adore those glimpses of a couple living a romantic dream amidst the chaos. But now I’m aware that the story I read in the press at the time was a fiction.